Polar review

[mazephoenix]

Don't read this till you've seen it cause here be spoilers. Short version: Worth it for Mads Mikkelsen, but has massive flaws.

Jonas Åkerlund is a shit director. There; I’ve said it.  His view of women is lousy.  There’s more ass shots in the opening five minutes than in the entire Michael Bay ouvre.

He also likes when things go bang and  when women shake their boobs at the camera. He directed Prodigy’s video “Smack my bitch up.”  So far so good.

That said Mads Mikkelsen own this movie.  He’s a soon to be retired contract killer whose company wants the money they promised him.  So he has to fight for his life, and soon to rescue his cute neighbour.

Matt Lucas(Nardole from Doctor Who) is an ersatz Mason Verger who gets to torture Duncan in a sequence to rival “Digestivo”.  He loses an eye and Hannibal sure didn’t.

Mads, all bloodied and topless gets to take his revenge in a very sexy sequence.

Oh the sex scenes-my god. Mads and two younger ladies get it on to prove Duncan is a stud. Or something. All very much appealing to the director’s id.  Well at least you get Mads ass shots too. 

Mads and his amazing face(and bloodied, burly body) wins the show. The final twenty minutes brings unexpected pathos and an intriguing twist.

Oh Duncan survives the movie and saves the girl. They don’t have sex.

Duncan does kill a woman he just sexed up(how very Bond)-but she was trying to kill him.

The cute dog dies-boo.

The John Wick movies are better-no contest.  But Keanu is no Mads. I know who is better at being a badass retired assassin.

The soundtrack is great, but plz retire the ironic use of old classic songs-so Tarantino. so tired.

That said I’d watch a sequel in a heartbeat-for Mads.

Vanessa Hudgens is pretty good too.

Try not to cheer when Duncan kills Mason, er Blut.(blood in German-subtle it aint.)

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